Ame looked sharply at Enkai at this “It’s...I’m not used to ...people being affectionate if I do not know them Lord. Forgive my sharpness if it offends you”.
Enkai fairly gawped at her and stammered “Not know? But surely you didn’t forget what happened at Ashenvale...I mean” the sentence fell to an uneasy silence as Ame clasped her hands together worried.
“I can’t avoid this now...I have to tell him…I’m just not in love with him...I must apologize...I have to...” thought Ame in panic.
Ame swallowed her throat dry continuing and a twinge of pain formed in her head and then left her “There is the worst possibility...that it might never come back. Ever. But that night, at your place-Enkai, I used you. I wasn’t attracted to you but the whole thing seemed so familiar I thought perhaps –I thought going with that familiarity would jump start my remembering. I’m so sorry I just-wanted to remember so badly that I did not think of the consequences.”
Enkai’s face was a mix of confusion. Ame tried not to look at him saying in trepidation “I’m not in love with you Enkai. It was a mistake. And in the end all I did was hurt myself and more than that-I gave you the wrong idea. I'm...so sorry Enkai. Can you ever forgive me?”
Enkai’s face hardened. “So-you think that night was a mistake? Of all the-” .His voice was tinted with anger and frustration. The atmosphere in the room became stony as Ame’s face cast down in fear did not dare look up to his. She was sure he would be furious and angered. More so since she had purposely made out the truce first. The patterns on the carved table never seemed more appealing than the thought of looking up into his face. After what seemed like an eternity Ame unwillingly raised her head to Enkai’s face and cringed-his face had become impassive looking directly at her as if she were glass.
“Ame...you disappoint me.” he said harshly.
She winced inwardly and said “If you do not like me now-indeed if you hate me-I would welcome it for I detest myself for leading you on ”.
Enkai leaned forward “So you say…nothing...was apparently in your mind that night? That you felt nothing, not a flit of attraction for me?”
“I’m sorry...I really don’t think so...”
“Indeed I am disappointed for I refuse to believe you. You expect me to believe that? Clearly you have rationalized this so much you have been led to think so by your political head” he said disgusted.
Ame felt like an electric jolt has shocked her “Excuse me?”
“You lie about having no feelings for me that night...and this rubbish about lost memories...of course you remember how could you not-“ Enkai
“How DARE you imply I lie about my well being Enkai. How would know anything about me? One shared moment between does NOT make you qualified to accuse me like that!” Ame fairly shouted. Ame was so angry she felt like she might attack him. She had her memories locked up, she might never get them back and what was more she trusted Enkai with this hoping he would understand. Instead here he was having the nerve to accuse her of pretending! She stood abruptly and made for the door, planning to leave till her anger had cooled down when she felt Enkai grab her hand.
“Let go! Leave me alone!” Ame yelped as he swiveled her around and took her by the shoulders. She struggled not wanting to look at him, feeling her anger take hold and disappointment. “I said let go!”
“Wait! Are you seriously telling me you don’t remember...anything...about before?!”
“No! I DON’T! Why won’t you believe me?! Let go of me! I’ll call my guards if you don’t stop!”
“Ame...” Enkai voice held such urgency and disbelief that she stopped trying to get away and looked him square in the eye. To her surprise she found his green eyes looking at her with a sad intensity and his mouth was softened.
“You….really don’t remember?”
He repeated with such insistence Ame felt obliged to lie, but caught herself.
“No Enkai I DON’T remember anything...I’m telling you the truth. “
Enkai finally let go of her shoulders his hand gently holding hers. He looked as if someone had told him shattering news but Ame could not for the life of her get why he was so concerned over her mental well being. What was it to him if she didn’t remember?
Enkai looked sadly at her and then let go of her hand as he went to the window in a state of quiet shock, leaning against the window sill.
“But…why can’t you..?” He turned towards her with a confused look and Ame suddenly felt very small. It was like being scolded for something she had done wrong but, how was it her fault if she didn’t remember? And why did he care?
“I am sorry for my harsh words Ame-”said Enkai dazed “It’s just. ..I was so sure.”
“Well you were wrong” clipped Ame still miffed at his odd behavior. Enkai glanced at her before turning back to the window. Silence filled the gap with a confused Ame left wondering what to do. She decided to take her leave and said
“Since this conversation is over-shall I have Emiya draw up the paper work Enkai?”
Enkai nodded mutely “Then I take my leave of you” Ame said uncertainly and she moved towards the door. She glanced back as she did and Enkai’s back was still turned facing the windows looking on the city below them.
She didn’t see him turn briefly to watch her leave.
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